I wasn’t a cool kid. Not by anyone’s standards. I was weird, socially awkward, and had no friends. I was picked last for teams and group projects. No one wanted to be stuck with the fat girl that drew Dragon Ball Z characters all day long. Most the adults in my life said the same thing, “You’ll grow out of it.” But that’s the thing. I didn’t want to grow out of it. I loved watching anime and reading manga and dreaming of one day going to Comic Con. But life happened. I moved away, got married and tucked away that part of me that makes me unique. I gave up ever going to a convention. I stopped drawing anime characters. It’s time to grow up, I thought.
Then I got divorced and it forced me to look at myself. I was 28 years old, but I told everyone I was 25. I don’t know why. I did know that I was quickly approaching 30 and I felt like I didn’t have my shit together. I was divorced, living in my parent’s attic and working at a job I hate. So I turned to the things that used to give me comfort. I went back and watched all the anime I had missed, started collecting comics and even made plans to go to my first convention. I fully embraced the nerd in me and let my “geek flag fly” as they say. But I still said I was 25.
I went to East Coast Comic Con in NJ a week before my 30th birthday and met a young girl who was there entering into the same cosplay contest I was. I talked to her for awhile and she ended up following me on Instagram. When I turned 30 the next week, she commented “Wow, I wish I could be as cool as you when I’m 30.” to which I responded “No you don’t. I’m a dork” and thought nothing of it. I got another message on Tumblr that week that said the same thing. “Wow, you’re 30? That’s awesome! All the 30 year olds I know are boring.” And yet again, at a convention a couple weeks ago I was talking to a girl about Welcome to Nightvale and Supernatural and she told me she was 13 and was amazed to find out that a 30 year old watches Supernatural and listens to WTN and goes to conventions and has a Tumblr.
That got me to thinking. When I was a teenager, I didn’t know a single adult who was into the stuff I liked, so I just assumed that I had to be the same way when I grew up. Nobody told me that it’s ok to still read comics and play video games, and obsess over fictional characters. So I’m don’t lie about my age anymore. Yes I’m 30. Yes I watch Supernatural, Sherlock and Doctor Who. Yes I read comics. Yes I go to conventions. Yes I love Misha Collins and think Jensen Ackles’ face should be framed in museum. And there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s not some magical thing that happens when you turn 30 that all the things that make you awesome go away. Embrace that. It’s ok to not have everything together at 30, and if you do that’s great. The important thing to remember is that you are awesome, no matter how old you are.
Then I got divorced and it forced me to look at myself. I was 28 years old, but I told everyone I was 25. I don’t know why. I did know that I was quickly approaching 30 and I felt like I didn’t have my shit together. I was divorced, living in my parent’s attic and working at a job I hate. So I turned to the things that used to give me comfort. I went back and watched all the anime I had missed, started collecting comics and even made plans to go to my first convention. I fully embraced the nerd in me and let my “geek flag fly” as they say. But I still said I was 25.
I went to East Coast Comic Con in NJ a week before my 30th birthday and met a young girl who was there entering into the same cosplay contest I was. I talked to her for awhile and she ended up following me on Instagram. When I turned 30 the next week, she commented “Wow, I wish I could be as cool as you when I’m 30.” to which I responded “No you don’t. I’m a dork” and thought nothing of it. I got another message on Tumblr that week that said the same thing. “Wow, you’re 30? That’s awesome! All the 30 year olds I know are boring.” And yet again, at a convention a couple weeks ago I was talking to a girl about Welcome to Nightvale and Supernatural and she told me she was 13 and was amazed to find out that a 30 year old watches Supernatural and listens to WTN and goes to conventions and has a Tumblr.
That got me to thinking. When I was a teenager, I didn’t know a single adult who was into the stuff I liked, so I just assumed that I had to be the same way when I grew up. Nobody told me that it’s ok to still read comics and play video games, and obsess over fictional characters. So I’m don’t lie about my age anymore. Yes I’m 30. Yes I watch Supernatural, Sherlock and Doctor Who. Yes I read comics. Yes I go to conventions. Yes I love Misha Collins and think Jensen Ackles’ face should be framed in museum. And there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s not some magical thing that happens when you turn 30 that all the things that make you awesome go away. Embrace that. It’s ok to not have everything together at 30, and if you do that’s great. The important thing to remember is that you are awesome, no matter how old you are.
